Reasons why it just isn't worth it (WHOLESALE!)

First things first , I would like say that I was mistaken about the Passion of the Christ release date ( happy Rafa?).

Two days ago , I found a homeless kitten. The grey cat with black lines came to me and a friend asking for food. This little cat was dying of hunger ; he was so thin he looked more like a giant rat , than a little cat. I took the cat home to feed him . I also hoped that I could keep him , but that wasn't possible , so we decided to give the cat away to someone that can take care of him.

There are children like this little cat out there ; scared , hungry, with nowhere to go , and in danger. That's why I rather adopt than progenitate. Don't get me wrong, i'm not particulary fond of children , they don't like me , and I usually can't stand them. I had a great childhood , and I think that it is every kid's right to atleast have a descent upbringing. Children are our future , if we don't help them out in becoming good citizens and good people , then we truly deserve the shitty world we have.

ToNy
PS: Ok , I promise that I will stop with the moral bullshit. :)

The Passion of the Christ is arriving on DVD tomorrow[ I wrote this yesterday]. When the movie first opened , publicists used some freak occurances - I recall a case of a man who saw the film on the theaters handed himself in for commiting a crime he was found innocent some years before- as pretty effective publicity for the film. Beign an atheist , I didn't really felt the urgency to see the film ,but a friend of mine invited me to a church sponsored showing . So why not?

I really liked the film from a cinematic point of view : the film looked great , the atmosphere was just perfect , and Satan looked pretty compeling. The film didn't really hit the nail when it came to it's true purpose.



I have to admit that I went in pretty skeptical , which may have greatly affected my judgement , but I saw the film as a guilt trip aimed at converting you to christianity. Jesus suffered because we are malignant-narcisist pigs that enjoy hurting others. But ,why would I feel guilty for something I didn't do? I have never enjoyed seeing others suffer , not even verbally. I wasnt even there.

But who am I to question Mel Gibson? He is good looking , catholic , and rich.


Tony

About my great lovecraftian tale of horror and madness: it is no more. I totally lost interest in that idea. It happens to me too often ; I begin to write the best story in the world , two days later I get bored with it. I'll print the two written paragraphs - in which my character , Set Barbosa , is trapped in a nightmarish world , hidding from a parade of horrible things - and put them in a folder where I put every unfished project I've begun to write. Hopefully , the story will resurface some other time.
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Here is a little something I remembered while I wrote what's above:
Half a year ago I asked a man ( who is perhaps the loneliest person I know) what truly makes him happy. The guy asked me , "Well , what do you define by happiness?". He went on , " I image that happiness is what you feel when you hold hands with your first love. I've never had that first love , but I imagine that's what it is."

I don't agree with him. I've never had a girfriend , yet I've felt very happy. Happiness is very short and sporadic. And in my case it doesn't come from something so deep as finding a soul mate. I felt incredibly happy a few hours ago reading Alan Moore's "The Voice of the Fire". It isn't a feel good book , on the contrary , it is a grim book. Today's reading involved ,a woman stabbing another woman to to steal her identity. Why did I felt happy? That's not uplifting ,thats horrible! But Alan Moore's prose is so beautiful (yeah ,yeah , running the risk of sounding like a faggot) , even when writting about brutality. It really involved me with the story ; it made me feel like if I was really there in England , 2500 years before Christ. My best guess is that the suspencion of belief is what made me feel this way.

Back to the world's loneliest man , the answer he gave me isn't his only definition of happiness. I just know it. He works to help out his family , he enjoys living in their house , and he spends most of his free time with them. I think that's the source of his happiness. I should call him something else , but I don't have another respectful name for him.

Tony

Today I commited myself to write a long story set in the world of H.P. Lovecraft. My ambition is somewhat aided by the fact that I found out that some of Lovecraft earlier tales fall under "public domain" when it comes to copyrights. That means that I can talk about Nyarlahothep or Azathoth without the fear of beign sued. I won't use Lovecraft's creations to make a quick buck , like some have done ; I really want to add my little part to the whole Mythology , and I want others to see it and hopefully enjoy it.

Like many of lovecraft's heroes , I'm looking at endless gulfs of infinite darkness. I don't have a summary, character backgrounds , or a whole lot of research. I don't need a summary because chunks of the story is in my head ; what ever isn't in my head , i'll discover it along with my characters. The research ... well i'll leave that for the second draft.

See you later.
Tony

Long time no see,

I won the fan fiction contest. I'm so happy. The most important part of writing , other than writing it self , is acceptance by others. If you know some one that writes help him out , every now and then tell him he can do it. You don't know how hard it is to write when you feel alone , or worst , when others give you shit about it.

Here is one of my stories : "I met Cthulhu" . The other is too much of an inside joke to fully be apreciated by others.

Take Care

Tony

Jesus talked to me the other day

My Physics professor is a cynical dick (and I do mean that in the nicest way.)He knows we are all going to flunk his exams , so the other they he started ranting about how Jesus himself is going to come down form his bathroom , or where ever the hell he hangs out , in heaven to give us the answers of the test. If Jesus was to come down from heaven to tell me anything , he would probably tell me something to the extent of , "Hey dude , a thousand and seventy-something years ago I had the crappiests of days ; I got nailed to a piece of wood!"

Ohhh I love religion.

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I finished my fan fic some days ago. I'm currently proof-reading it with some friends. In my opinion , proof-reading is the worst part about the whole writing experience. It is in proof-reading that you find out your story isn't as good to others , as it is to you.

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I'm currently researching early twentieth century Puerto Rico for a lovecraftian short story. La soledad de Felipe Castillo , The solitud of Felipe Castillo, is quite an exciting enterprise.I've only figured out the begining, the end , and some of parts in between , but I guess the rest will come when I begin to write.


I'll keep you informed

Tony

Hello everybody,

I'm still sick, and tomorrow some pretty tough clases await me. All I can do is take it easy , and rest the entire day ( I still have the whole day infront of me ,just looked at my PC's watch; It's 4:40 Am).






Fan fictions and other Literatures
I've spent the last few days writting a fan fic for a Puerto Rico Jedi Outcast contest. I'll still not tell you what it is about , but i'm pretty satisfied with what has been writen.I think there are only two ways to make a good fan fic:The first is to make some witty spin on the original subject matter ( example Cthulhoid fiction) , the second is to make a new story sharing the same world as the original.

Still won't tell you what my fan fic is about. :-)
But i'll share some cthulhoid fiction i've written later on.



The lovely Rebecca Herbst is one of my foci when I write

Fornication Under the Consent of the King ( or something like that)

Tony

PS: Re-reading my previous post I've found some gramatical errors , but who cares if I fix them or not.